The last few days I have been thinking about something. I wrote last time about belief to faith. Well in having faith you are kind of trusting Jesus. We can always rely on God , He will always be there. No matter what happens He is there and in the hardest of times He is there and will carry you through if you let Him.
The last few days have nor been the best, yesterday I slept most of the day after days of not sleeping. My point of this blog was to share my story about mental health or so I thought; I will share that with you, but also what God is doing in my life. Right now, He’s leading me through some stuff and showing me about belief, faith, trust (who would have thought). I have to say that through this; things in my mind and world aren’t simple or fine and dandy all the time.
I live in the same town as my immediate family , though I only hear from anyone when they want something. It takes a toll on my mind because it’s like I’m only around when it is CONVENIENT for them. It makes me feel like I don’t matter. Someone replied to a post I put up in a Facebook group and pretty much said that God doesn’t want us feeling ashamed or oppressed, how do you not feel that way when you are ONLY wanted when they WANT something.
This is where learning to have faith and trust God comes in. In your day to day life , if you ignore the pain you can’t heal it; but if you take it head on and have faith that God will help you do what is right and trust thin that, then you can heal. It reminds me a lot of the poem “Footprints” az when the person asks Jesus about the single set of footprints and Jesus says that’s when He carried the person.
I feel pretty lonely most days, living by yourself sucks sometimes; God is always there, but sometimes I forget. Today is a day that I’m not feeling the best, in fact I’m feeling rather angry. It has to do with a situation that I can not post online, but I wish there was a place to take about these silly things. Really it’s not the biggest concern, on the other hand it IS family. When you live a mile from family and spend $20 to $50 on laundry every couple weeks it makes you wonder how much you matter. I also have great concern for someone in my family who needs 24/7 care and I feel horrible that I can’t do more. I have to trust that God will keep His hand on this situation and guide everyone in what to do. I have to have faith that He’s there.
Thanks for reading, when I went over to the library I intended to talk about trust, but didn’t intend on getting into anything too deep. I will keep praying and working on this, I pray that you all do too. Have a fantastic day, pray for sun. Originally written 5/4/2019.
Kerri's Blog 