Following the sermon on 4/28/2019 at the Schroon Lake Community Church I have some thoughts. Pastor preached about doubting Thomas and moving from the step of believing to having faith. Her challenge for the week was to pray for something for yourself. After service I talked to her about an email I had written and about connecting. If any of you know me well since I have been battling physical pain and a bunch of mental health issues; (those of which I have no clue what they are right now); that I have not been the biggest social butterfly. That said those of you who may know me from years ago know that once I started talking I never stopped.
That Sunday night I got angry at a family member and thought they were lying so I had to go see for myself if they were being truthful. So I went for a walk that was 3/4 of a mile each way. I was really angry and got there rather quickly for me (my back muscles pulling in all directions), but om the way back I was really upset and decided to take a break on the Episcopal church steps. Well there I sat bawling because I have lost yet some more valuable and sentimental items to me. I was angry because hadn’t I been through enough and lost enough last year. Heather walked by and asked if I was alright, but I shrugged my shoulders because with my headphones on I couldn’t hear her. I was not alright, I was upset and the things I lost are from people I may not see again until we meet again in heaven.
I got thinking about it though, God provided with another Christian when I needed it and I learned that sometimes I should just trust what people say. God taught me something else though, He taught me that those possessions aren’t everything. the memories of how theses people impacted my young adulthood I will make sure to keep fresh. At the same time the Community Church used to be up the street from where I live and it burned to the point htat it had to be knocked down, the pastor lost most of her stuff from what I hear (I have not personally asked).We all lose stuff over time like where in the world did my old basketball hoodie go, that meant the world to me in high school… who knows. The fear of losing more of my stuff is real at times. had I only brought all the totes at once it may not have happened.
Anyway, rambling aside I took the hard lesson of at least it’s not everything and at least I have a home and Kerrigan. That’s what matters, it’s our lives that matter, not the things in it. I am still here and so is my home ( the Masonvilles) I have lost housing before, but not tragically. After I walked by the old church (now the site of the old church) I felt really selfish. God will provide and has been, so anything I lose past, present, or future it will be okay. I prayed for connection and I think God used it in a way very different way then I thought.
Monday evening I went to sermon discussion and then I really started thinking about my relationship with Jesus; you see that’s all about connection too. I have taken some time to admire the big things God has provided us, but seem so little to us Sunrises and sunsets and the beautiful lake I live maybe a football field from (or two). God made the Adirondacks so beautiful and Schroon Lake such a great place to be. That doesn’t mean I’ll be here forever; I will on the other hand enjoy all the beauty while I can. We have to be open for connection with Jesus for it to happen and we have to ask sometimes, I pray that I can keep my heart open for Jesus and let His light shine through. Oh and thank you Ed for dinner it means the world. Orginally written 5/2/2019
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